Celebrating Sisters

Today Lucy went to her first movie. We went to see Frozen, the new Disney movie with Becca and Grandma. It is a princess love story. A love story between two princess Norwegian sisters. There was even lutefisk! If that isn't Norwegian, I don't know what is. There was a prince love interest, but it wasn't the focus, the main message of the movie was about the love shared between two sisters. It made me cry. Sure, Disney princesses aren't always the best role models. Finding a man to take of them, true love conquers all even if it means losing your identity. But Disney has done this pretty amazing thing in the last 10 years. It has developed an image of a princess into a strong, feisty, independent girl who follows her mind and sometimes her heart. Who is smart, driven, and solves their own problems: see Brave, Sofia the First, Princess and the Frog, Tangled, Mulan. All pretty amazing princesses I am glad you two like better than the older Disney princesses whose values are not quite as solid.  But Frozen took this new type of princess a step further and decided to tell a love story between two sisters. Can you tell me any other children's movie that celebrates this bond? I can't. In good Disney fashion, Frozen was an adaptation of Hans Christian Andersen's Snow Queen. But when I read the synopsis of the original version, the snow queen is evil and there is no mention of sisters. I like the 21st century version a whole lot better.

Disney brought us a little magic today; a magic that reminded us of the truly sacred bond you two have as sisters. The love you share will be the everlasting story of your lives with or without men. A friend at work told me he felt he won the universal lottery when he and his wife had a boy and a girl. Best of both worlds, he said, one of each. Although this might be true for some, I have always known and continue to believe in the power of sisters.  I will do everything I can to foster and grow this love between you two. But so far, it has taken root and sprouted all on its own. And Lucy, you were an amazing little movie goer today. It gives me hope for a good Pirate and Princess show next weekend Oh Disney has taken over our lives!!!  

Thankful Song

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Enough

When is it enough? When have we given enough time? Enough money? Enough energy? Too little, too much, just enough. I don't want to over-do but I also don't want to under-do. In my hyper-ness not to under-do, I frequently over-do. I have been working on not being so stressed with "it" being enough and just enjoying what it is. This weekend, we had Nora's class bear, Hope. We have to document what we did with it and add multiple pages with pictures and descriptions in a binder.Each family gets one weekend with Hope. Maybe that's the problem, we have a glimpse into others' lives. We went to see Aladdin Jr. at the local arts center (adorably cute), we went to the mall to get new shoes for Lucy and met Santa who seemed to be in his holiday house rather early this year, we played outside and took long walks around town and had a pajama parade. Ho Hum. Nothing much. Is it enough? We took pictures and wrote about our "adventures." Nora, you drew a few pictures, wrote your name, we messed up a few times where there are now black blobs of marker scribble in the Hope binder on most of our pages with those frequent mess-ups.

In this world with social networking and blogging and email we are more in touch, we see into others lives and I have this nagging feeling, I am never doing enough. I can be better or give you two more of my time, my thoughts, my love. I don't know. It seems so stupid. This binder, is just a pre-k binder. It means nothing in the real world. It is big deal in ours. Sometimes I read my Facebook feed and wish I had it as easy. As beautiful. But then I realized, we hardly ever share when things are bad, when there are problems. When we are hurting. I KNOW this, I teach I.T. to middle schoolers and we do an entire digital identity unit. It is easy to tell when others are fishing for compliments, we all do it! Or to brag or to show off how wonderful their family, friends, life is. We don't post or write about when we come up short or when things aren't enough. Even when people do, it has a hint of "but things are still awesome." Maybe I am just insecure or jealous of most of cyberspace. But I have studied the psychology of social networking enough to know better. I don't know why I have kept up this blog for almost 4 years, I think it talks about mundane things that people don't care about, but I know you two will find them important. You two will love to read about your adventures even if isn't all that exciting to others. I don't know why recently I have felt this "not enough" feeling so strongly. 

I hope. I hope it's enough to show you two how much my life was focused on yours. When my parenting  doesn't seem like enough. When we don't have enough time, or not healthy enough, or not educational enough, when not patience enough. I need to remind myself I will never measure up to another parenting blog or status updates but I never have to because that isn't the whole story. I can live in a constant state of never enough but I won't. Because I want to demonstrate to you both what it is like to be satisfied. To live up to your own standards, not others. So we are (I am) working on being satisfied with the beautiful imperfections, the black blob cross outs in the binder, the messy floor that was literally just cleaned 5 minutes ago, the sticky chair, the rushed time in the morning, the busy traffic outside, the too few walks we take, the minimal healthy snacks instead of the sugary ones. What we do, as long as it comes from a place of love and hard work, will always be enough. Just how you are. Just as we are. Exactly what you create, say, give; it is enough for me and I hope I am enough for you. It is hard to do this, to be satisfied with what is. But we can do hard things.

A quick catch-up from October. Maybe I will post some pictures of our house guest, Hope, next time.

Love this picture. Nonna is a little nervous allowing Teddy to pour his own syrup. 

Aunt Molly and Classic Nonni face at the pumpkin farm!

Lucy the animal whisperer: The farm animals would follow her around and Lucy has this quiet calm that the animals seemed to appreciate. 

The cow licking her hand.

Feeding the goats was exciting!!

Cousins on the farm.

This captures Lucy's "animal whisperer" ability pretty well.

First born portrait. 

Found her pumpkin fast!

Pumpkin Head. 

Pumpkins!!!

Determined to take this pumpkin.

Lucy was the only one to go on the "pony" ride. That animal is a horse and Lucy loved every minute and didn't need anyone to hold her. She held on all by herself and smiled the entire ride. 

Tractor riding. 

Self timer family picture of all of us! Minus Daddy, who was in Seattle on a boat. 

What's a farm trip without bunt cake!

Aunt Molly came home to go to the farm with us! It was only a 6000 miles round trip to come with us. 

Daddy came home just in time for pumpkin carving!

Always too many pumpkins but well-loved pumpkins, especially the one with glasses and a sideburns and a mustache!

Trick or Treating time!

Grandma came to help. She was witch! Nor- you were Doc McStuffins and Lucy is Minnie Mouse

Trick or Treat! Give me something good to eat!!

Random: We took Teddy to the local fire station at Nonni and Nonna's!

Teddy was the fire chief!

This picture exudes excitement. They were actually excited about the firetruck just not about another picture.

We Can Do Hard Things

It was my every intention of posting last week. We had an incredible first experience camping as a family. Even though it down poured on us in the middle of the first night. We survived and had a really beautiful / warm weekend in the woods. But then your father was called away to Washington State for 10 days. This came as a shock since the government was shutdown and most employees furloughed. Somehow your father's trip to a federal government air craft carrier was funded. Who knows. Either your father is that important or air craft carrier's nuclear power control system repair/update was critical enough to bypass the shut down; I'm pretty sure it's the latter. 

This left me and you two in a bit of a pickle with weekend plans and lots of obligations including dinners, field trips, Halloween parades all left in limbo. We figured it out. We have modified plans as needed. Your father gets home this Friday. I can't wait. 

Nora, you have become obsessed with school. You write all the time or do this math workbook you found somewhere around the house. You recite your Principles and sing your patriotic songs. Your class is singing "I'm Proud to Be an American" for Veteran's Day assembly in November. It is even more adorable than it sounds. This week and last you are the Leader of the Week and the line leader for your class. You have loved every minute of leading the others all around campus. Back to the point, our house is overrun with paper. So much paper. Paper you cut, paper you write words on, numbers, song notes. Paper and notecards and stick notes. Paper you bring home from school. Paper is everywhere. I spent at least an hour today picking up and trying to organize reams of loose paper.  

Lucy, you are obsessed with mimicking Nora or bothering Nora. So this does not help the paper situation. Your voice, your vocabulary is growing. More importantly your pronunciation is getting better. We had a speech pathology evaluation done. A child must be at least 25% delayed to qualify for services. I was sure you would qualify. You scored in the 35-37 month range at 27 months old. I couldn't believe it. The speech pathologist was adamant, you are advanced for your age. She explained we can't understand what you are saying because you are using vocabulary too advanced for your gross motor development. Basically, your tongue and lip muscles haven't developed enough to say the words you want. Uh huh. What it boils down to is I have not been listening  to you. Nora is easy to understand now. I don't have to think about what she is saying expect when she called a question mark a mysterious mark and I didn't understand at first. But you take more time, your energy, your dramatic gestures, your passion all need to be appreciated. I have been doing a better job learning Lucy. 

So your father has been gone for 6 days. 4 more days to go. I won't lie, it's been tough. For the last few months, when you both start to melt down about something, I whisper in your ear, "You can do hard things." I know it sound generic and trite. But it really motivates you both. Simple and to the point. I use the mantra especially when you both encounter something difficult like a math problem or the daunting task of cleaning up the paper in the toy room.  A couple of weeks ago when I was repeating this to you two while getting into the car and Nora, you asked, "How do YOU know we can do hard things?!" (in a frustrated manner since you were trying to do something difficult). I answered, "Well I am a Jothen girl just like you. And so I KNOW Jothen girls can do hard things." You seemed to accept this answer.  

These last 6 days have been hard, to live as a single parent, to do the dishes, make dinner, run bath, oversee homework, do my own grading and work, clean the house, shopping, picking up the farm share, seeing family, driving, cleaning, vacuuming, laundry, dressing, undressing, diaper changes, playing, supporting each of you emotionally. While assembling a car seat last night in the dark, in the van next to the garage (we needed one this morning for the field trip to the farm). I assembled it incorrectly and the parts were stuck together. I was frustrated. Angry. Nora, you little voice rose up from a whisper, "We can do hard things Momma." And I took a deep breath and refocused. I finished and we even had some time to enjoy a few books together before bed.

I will rejoice when your father returns in time for the weekend but I will not wish away the remaining 4 days where you two will watch me do hard things and know that you can too.