Back to Reality

Back to school. Back to reality. This time of year is always fun/ stressful/ a challenge. Finding a groove for the year. School year that is.

I lost a student today. He left our school to return to the school where his twin sister goes. He is happy. I am sad. He was my only student in IT 200 this year. Now I don't have that course this year. In any other year or school, this would be fantastic news. Another planning period. Less work. But this kid, he was talented. My favorite student, maybe ever. I am just sick with sadness. I had such high hopes for the school year with him.

It doesn't help that today is 9/11. I didn't realize until recently that everyone did not experience that day with the same sense of horror. The pit-in-your-stomach fear that your family was not ok. The panic. The fear. I can't stand to see / read / listen / re-live any part of that day. Just like I don't want to remember how the nurse couldn't find Lucy's heartbeat at 40 weeks. The immediate and raw fear that everything won't be ok. An alternate ending was too close. I don't want to think about either event now or ever.

So today was a sad day in many ways.

But our little family, we are doing well. Nora, you absolutely love school. Your father and I are looking forward to going to back-to-school night tomorrow and hearing all the pre-k happenings. This week, your class job is being the caboose. Basically, you are the last kid in line. Apparently you adore this job. You are quite tickled that no one can walk behind you when your class travels around campus. You announced to your class that you got to ride in a caboose this summer too. So you are quite aware of how awesome cabooses are.

We had a crazy August filled with consignment sales. Ok, just one massive, stressful consignment sale. Crazy work schedules, first days of school, a week without daycare where I had to beg, borrow and steal help, weekends at the beach / St. Michaels with family and friends. Lucy getting blood work because she isn't growing well. She eats like a horse though. Her head is definitely getting bigger because her shirts are hard to put on. We are going for weight checks now every month. Hopefully she won't have celiac, diabetes, lead poisoning or any other horrible condition the 4 viles of blood were looking for. But to be honest, it isn't something we are focused on. We also aren't focused on potty training or the need for speech therapy. It will all work out. And I refuse deal with a problem until we know we actually have one.

Our lives are filled with days working, playing and figuring out how to live as a family with a pre-k student and a 2 year-old spit-fire. With an old hound dog and a sickly walnut tree. With piles of laundry and pressing uniforms for a crisp look only to come home disheveled. With finding shoes in the morning and blankies at night. With spending time together outside, reading, playing some make-believe or watching movies. I think our focus for fall is simply to enjoy being with each other and soak up moments at our annual fall events. Our town has many fall festivals, parades and cute little events that make this town lovable.

Not too many pictures. I still owe Aunt Molly a big Dutch Wonderland update. I should start taking more pictures. You two are... just perfect sisters. Full and whole and everything I imagined and more. The screaming and squealing and hair pulling and occasional biting/ pinching just make it all the more interesting. And when one knocks the other with a garden gnome over their head and blood comes bubbling out from under their hair and trickles down their face, well, it keeps things really interesting and I wouldn't have it any other way. Minus the blood. Can't stand the smell. Yuck.

We have our good moments. 

This makes me smile. 

Enjoying the summer evening. 

Sunset game of hide and seek. 

Mmmmmm melon snack on the counter. 

Decorating Nonna's birthday cake.
It wasn't my idea to have the toddlers do this. 

Happy Birthday Nonna! Lucy HAD to be in the middle.

Love Teddy peaking out.

Chillin with Nick. 

DQ excitement.

I'm Not Ready... But You Are.

August was a whirlwind. Mostly fun. Family reunions at Dutch Wonderland and lazy afternoons spent at the pool. Then there was consignment. I couldn't focus on anything else except getting this sale running with electronic tagging / checkout without problems. I am delighted that it appears it was a success and the sale made money! Volunteering is a great way to spend my "free" time except when I have very little free time to spare. The week leading up to the sale was crazy stressful and I couldn't see past August 24th. 

Except. On August 28th you went to school, pre-K for the very first time. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready emotionally but also wasn't physcially ready with the huge list of items you would need in your new classroom. On a foggy, humid morning we said goodbye to Lucy at daycare. You two embraced after you bent down and told Lucy, "I am going to school now and I won't be with you anymore at Ms. Patti's." 

That is the only time I almost cried. 

With your new all white shoes, kitty lunch box, school-mandated book bag and uniform, off you went. I was sort of nervous. What would it be like? I kept thinking, I'm not ready for this. We arrived at drop off and you turned around, hugged me and walked away, you half-turned to say, "Bye, Mom." as you left me standing there wondering, what just happened.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready. 

I got to my office, which is downstairs from your classroom. Silly to think you are actually closer to me now than you have every been. I'm not ready. I forgot to remind you to use the potty. Will you know how to open your lunch box? Will someone help you open your food containers? What if you cry? Will you be scared at naptime? I sort of purposely run into your class on the way to PE. I was working on taking pictures of middle school advisories. When your class walked through, I smiled and waved, you barely acknowledge me with a half smile and quick wave, as if to say, "MOM. I am in line and I am not about to disrupt the class with your non-sense." 

I worried. I fretted. I waited until the end of the day, holding my breath to see how your day was. You were playing trains with the older kids in after-care. You had a great day. You were all smiles. I was convinced you were going to melt down from this highly emotional day. You never did. In fact, after we picked up Lucy and came home, I opened the van door and you climbed and exclaimed, "I had such a fun day. Thank you for taking me to school." 

Are you for real? 

After dinner (Daddy made noddles with rancid meat that we had to throw out and then piece together another meal), you tell your father, "Thank you for making dinner Daddy." 

What is going on? Where is the meltdown?

Nora, it is just crazy. You have been to 3 days of school. Only 3 and you are so happy. You are so well-adjusted. You are so at home with your class and the routine. 

I am not ready for this. But you are. 

You are thriving and growing and absorbing and becoming this awesome person. The meltdown hasn't happened (yet), you seem to just soak it all in and love every minute, from Art to Library to PE to Science Lab. Music is your favorite class so far. I am just in awe of you. No nerves. No worry. You just are. You are just ready for school. There is nothing I can do, except to stop worrying (which won't happen). 

My little bean, growing up. I'm not ready still but I have come to the conclusion, nothing can stop you from blossoming into this incredible person who won this week's pre-K Perseverance Award for working through learning how to put your own sheet on the cot before naptime. Ok, I'm bragging just a little. It was the best birthday present ever. That and watching you and Lu using chopsticks at the Japanese steak house for the first time and doing better than most people at our table!

Going to school!

Lucy has been boycotting shoes lately. 

Leaving aftercare.

Love the lunchbox! Thanks Nonna!

Look at Daddy's makeup!

Getting ready for dinner!

Makeup application.

Chopstick Teeth at Sakura!

Learning and using chopsticks!

Happy Birthday to Me! How lucky I am. 

Weekend on the Eastern Shore

Right after Lucy's birthday we spent the weekend in St. Michaels with Teddy and his parents and their home. It was very fun. 

But! Before we begin to regale you with tales of our lazy summer weekend, there is BIG news in the Jothen family tonight. Another cousin has entered our family! Now our boy cousins / nephews outweigh the girls, 2 to 1. As we celebrate the birth of new family member, we are reminded what a blessing each new life is. Another cousin to play with! He has entered the world so loved already and brought joy to so many, including us. Welcome little one, you picked a great family to join. Just wait until the next Jothen family vacation. You'll see. 

And of course, we are so grateful for our Teddy. He shares his house with us. Uncle Kevin took Daddy crabbing, we spent hours in the pool, we made ice cream. This idyllic place, experiences are something out of a movie. Life, laughter, family. There isn't anything that could fill our hearts more. 

Lucy wouldn't leave the top step. She could splash up there all day long.

Raft time!

Relaxing with Nonna.

No one cared that the children had climbed into the Foosball table.
We wanted to eat an uninterrupted dinner and it kept them occupied
for a surprising long period of time. 

Daddy setting off fireworks!

The crowds ooohs and ahhs.

Love Teddy curls.

Watching the fireworks.

Checking out the catch!

Oldest cousin always gets to control all the fun. 

Swimming. 

Jumping.

Throwing.

Marcot-man snack. Made by the Marcot girls.
 First and last time that will ever happen.

Ready to relax poolside!

Lucy in her sundress and sun hat. 

Going for a boat ride!

All of their expressions are priceless. 

Making cookies and cream ice cream!

Aunt Katie might kill me for posting this but it is just too adorable not to.
Teddy loved jumping in like his older cousin.

Lucy love. 

Cooked crabs.

Yea! Crabs again for dinner!

Creepy and kinda cute. More creepy. 

Yummy home made ice cream!!

I wish Teddy lived closer. I wish every summer night was spent on the eastern shore with him. You can breath easier, rest harder and live as family being together is the most important thing in the world.