Thank you. And I Love You.

Things have been tough lately. Not necessarily one thing or another. Early mornings, tired evening, busy schedules, new classes. Weekends seem to end before they begin and responsibilities just have a way of getting in the way of life. I realized recently that I have a problem with creating boundaries for my sanity. Saying no to more responsibilities when I have enough to juggle. It's a double edge sword. I feel like I need to toughen up and not be so concerned about everyone else. Helping, caring, volunteering, doing; fills me up. I worry about you Nor, being too soft. Being like me. But you're not. You're a first-born with a soft side. A quiet storm.

There have been our annual fall activities. All fun. All enjoyed. But this morning, Monday morning came too soon. Your dad and I weren't ready. His only new Audi key had been lost over the fallfest weekend where our town is consumed in a fall festival. We tore apart the house at 5am. No dice. By 7am we called a locksmith. No dice. Only a dealer can program a new key. By 9am we found out the dealer would need the car towed down to their store and it would take 3-5 days. And it would ridiculously expensive. ?!?!?!?! The stress had been building for weeks. Fall renewal and change is stressful. Your father and I had a huge blow-up when I was at work and he was still at home trying to figure out how to deal with this entire fiasco. Somewhere along the lines, all my texting history with your father was accidentally erased since my texts were stuck and not sending (more stress!). He decided to take his motorcycle to work. I taught my classes and felt guilty. I left after my afternoon class to go and look for the key, I already had the Westminster City Police and Parks and Rec department on a city-wide hunt for this stupid Audi key. I prayed on the way home, "St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come down, something has been lost and needs to be found." Once I got home, your father never went to work had stayed home to call the tow truck. We fought. We were angry, stressed. I said I was going to walk around the park to look for the key and stormed out of the house. Something or someone made me think to take a detour over to the fence where we talk to the Wagmans daily. I looked under the platform. Nothing. I turned around defeated, eyes down on the ground and there about 20 feet away under the lily plants and dried up walnut leaves, was a shiny key. An Audi key, only programmed for Daddy's new (to us) 2009 A4. Alleluia! After a long embrace and lots of tears, I had to get back to work. I left and Daddy stayed to cancel the tow truck and call the dealer to say he wouldn't be coming. On my way back to work, a new text came through from your father: "Thank you. And I love you." It is the only text in my phone from him now. No more history.

A new start. A fall renewal. Thank you. And I love you. It sounds like perfect mantra for us now. No matter the stress or the new routines we have to establish this school year.

I was feeling pretty good about life after all this... until we get at call at 5pm. I had completely forgotten to take Lucy to her doctor's appointment at 4pm. Another parenting fail. But at least we have refocused on gratitude and love. Nothing more important, at least for tonight.  Well maybe second to playing on the new swing-set your father insisted on buying and building for you two. 

Cheese!

Family photo for your homework, Nora. 

Bouncy tunnel of love. 

Higher! HIGHER!

Joy.

Surfing. 

We aren't always active after work and school and daycare.
Sometimes we just want a couch, a cuddle and TV.

Wonderland

For half the summer all you and Aunt Katie talked about was going to "Wonderland" as you referred to it. Dutch Wonderland is a local (Lancaster PA) small family-owned amusement park for kids 2-10 years. Perfect for our family. So all the Marcot women plus Teddy converged at a resort hotel near D.W. for a couple days away in August. Uncle Kevin also came for a night. Daddy stayed home. We had a blast. It was good to hang out with Aunt Molly and Aunt Clare and order pool-side service and sleep in a hotel and go down the biggest water slide ever (for your four-year old self). We even went to a farm where we got to see the Strasburg steam train come through. We had an amazing trip, although only a few days, it was a welcomed and grateful time with family. Now for photo over-load. Your welcome, Aunt Molly. 

We had an emerald and two aquamarines.

One of many rides taken together. 

Bumper Cars with Aunt Molly!

Someone wasn't allowed on the frog hopper ride. 

Monster trucks!

You RAN into the arms of the princess and everyone awed. Then Lucy mimicked you and ran up to the princess too and hugged her with all her might. It was super adorable.  

You both completely ignored the knight and gave high fives to the dragon.

Chitty Cars! I have a good video of you RIDING while Aunt Clare drove. You refused to drive. Truly Scrumptious does not drive Chitty, you explained. 

Dutch part of the wonderland. 

Slowest boat ride ever... 

Go Teddy GO!

If Aunt Molly had any type of social media account, THIS should be her profile pic. 

Water Park Fun!

Both girls loved the water slide in the background! They went on twice and laughed the whole way down!

Hotel fun.

Hotel pool.

Mmmmm pool-side service for dinner!

Sleepover with Teddy!

Book signing with Aunt Molly.

Farm chicks just hatched.

Teddy and Lucy did not want to hold, only watch. 

Giant jumping pillow!

You two had so much fun on this thing. 

Burlap sack slide with Aunt Katie. 

The Strasburg Railroad came through the middle of the farm.

It was a big attraction when the train came roaring through.

See you later!!

Back to Reality

Back to school. Back to reality. This time of year is always fun/ stressful/ a challenge. Finding a groove for the year. School year that is.

I lost a student today. He left our school to return to the school where his twin sister goes. He is happy. I am sad. He was my only student in IT 200 this year. Now I don't have that course this year. In any other year or school, this would be fantastic news. Another planning period. Less work. But this kid, he was talented. My favorite student, maybe ever. I am just sick with sadness. I had such high hopes for the school year with him.

It doesn't help that today is 9/11. I didn't realize until recently that everyone did not experience that day with the same sense of horror. The pit-in-your-stomach fear that your family was not ok. The panic. The fear. I can't stand to see / read / listen / re-live any part of that day. Just like I don't want to remember how the nurse couldn't find Lucy's heartbeat at 40 weeks. The immediate and raw fear that everything won't be ok. An alternate ending was too close. I don't want to think about either event now or ever.

So today was a sad day in many ways.

But our little family, we are doing well. Nora, you absolutely love school. Your father and I are looking forward to going to back-to-school night tomorrow and hearing all the pre-k happenings. This week, your class job is being the caboose. Basically, you are the last kid in line. Apparently you adore this job. You are quite tickled that no one can walk behind you when your class travels around campus. You announced to your class that you got to ride in a caboose this summer too. So you are quite aware of how awesome cabooses are.

We had a crazy August filled with consignment sales. Ok, just one massive, stressful consignment sale. Crazy work schedules, first days of school, a week without daycare where I had to beg, borrow and steal help, weekends at the beach / St. Michaels with family and friends. Lucy getting blood work because she isn't growing well. She eats like a horse though. Her head is definitely getting bigger because her shirts are hard to put on. We are going for weight checks now every month. Hopefully she won't have celiac, diabetes, lead poisoning or any other horrible condition the 4 viles of blood were looking for. But to be honest, it isn't something we are focused on. We also aren't focused on potty training or the need for speech therapy. It will all work out. And I refuse deal with a problem until we know we actually have one.

Our lives are filled with days working, playing and figuring out how to live as a family with a pre-k student and a 2 year-old spit-fire. With an old hound dog and a sickly walnut tree. With piles of laundry and pressing uniforms for a crisp look only to come home disheveled. With finding shoes in the morning and blankies at night. With spending time together outside, reading, playing some make-believe or watching movies. I think our focus for fall is simply to enjoy being with each other and soak up moments at our annual fall events. Our town has many fall festivals, parades and cute little events that make this town lovable.

Not too many pictures. I still owe Aunt Molly a big Dutch Wonderland update. I should start taking more pictures. You two are... just perfect sisters. Full and whole and everything I imagined and more. The screaming and squealing and hair pulling and occasional biting/ pinching just make it all the more interesting. And when one knocks the other with a garden gnome over their head and blood comes bubbling out from under their hair and trickles down their face, well, it keeps things really interesting and I wouldn't have it any other way. Minus the blood. Can't stand the smell. Yuck.

We have our good moments. 

This makes me smile. 

Enjoying the summer evening. 

Sunset game of hide and seek. 

Mmmmmm melon snack on the counter. 

Decorating Nonna's birthday cake.
It wasn't my idea to have the toddlers do this. 

Happy Birthday Nonna! Lucy HAD to be in the middle.

Love Teddy peaking out.

Chillin with Nick. 

DQ excitement.