Friday, August 30, 2013

I'm Not Ready... But You Are.

August was a whirlwind. Mostly fun. Family reunions at Dutch Wonderland and lazy afternoons spent at the pool. Then there was consignment. I couldn't focus on anything else except getting this sale running with electronic tagging / checkout without problems. I am delighted that it appears it was a success and the sale made money! Volunteering is a great way to spend my "free" time except when I have very little free time to spare. The week leading up to the sale was crazy stressful and I couldn't see past August 24th. 

Except. On August 28th you went to school, pre-K for the very first time. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready emotionally but also wasn't physcially ready with the huge list of items you would need in your new classroom. On a foggy, humid morning we said goodbye to Lucy at daycare. You two embraced after you bent down and told Lucy, "I am going to school now and I won't be with you anymore at Ms. Patti's." 
That is the only time I almost cried. 
With your new all white shoes, kitty lunch box, school-mandated book bag and uniform, off you went. I was sort of nervous. What would it be like? I kept thinking, I'm not ready for this. We arrived at drop off and you turned around, hugged me and walked away, you half-turned to say, "Bye, Mom." as you left me standing there wondering, what just happened.

I'm not ready. I'm not ready. 

I got to my office, which is downstairs from your classroom. Silly to think you are actually closer to me now than you have every been. I'm not ready. I forgot to remind you to use the potty. Will you know how to open your lunch box? Will someone help you open your food containers? What if you cry? Will you be scared at naptime? I sort of purposely run into your class on the way to PE. I was working on taking pictures of middle school advisories. When your class walked through, I smiled and waved, you barely acknowledge me with a half smile and quick wave, as if to say, "MOM. I am in line and I am not about to disrupt the class with your non-sense." 

I worried. I fretted. I waited until the end of the day, holding my breath to see how your day was. You were playing trains with the older kids in after-care. You had a great day. You were all smiles. I was convinced you were going to melt down from this highly emotional day. You never did. In fact, after we picked up Lucy and came home, I opened the van door and you climbed and exclaimed, "I had such a fun day. Thank you for taking me to school." 
Are you for real? 

After dinner (Daddy made noddles with rancid meat that we had to throw out and then piece together another meal), you tell your father, "Thank you for making dinner Daddy." 
What is going on? Where is the meltdown?

Nora, it is just crazy. You have been to 3 days of school. Only 3 and you are so happy. You are so well-adjusted. You are so at home with your class and the routine. 
I am not ready for this. But you are. 

You are thriving and growing and absorbing and becoming this awesome person. The meltdown hasn't happened (yet), you seem to just soak it all in and love every minute, from Art to Library to PE to Science Lab. Music is your favorite class so far. I am just in awe of you. No nerves. No worry. You just are. You are just ready for school. There is nothing I can do, except to stop worrying (which won't happen). 

My little bean, growing up. I'm not ready still but I have come to the conclusion, nothing can stop you from blossoming into this incredible person who won this week's pre-K Perseverance Award for working through learning how to put your own sheet on the cot before naptime. Ok, I'm bragging just a little. It was the best birthday present ever. That and watching you and Lu using chopsticks at the Japanese steak house for the first time and doing better than most people at our table!

Going to school!

Lucy has been boycotting shoes lately. 

Leaving aftercare.
Love the lunchbox! Thanks Nonna!

Look at Daddy's makeup!
Getting ready for dinner!
Makeup application.
Chopstick Teeth at Sakura!
Learning and using chopsticks!
Happy Birthday to Me! How lucky I am.