Monday, April 12, 2010

Mornings With You

One day you will not want me around. I will be "uncool"... probably the word cool will be old fashioned. Maybe it already is.

I work with middle school students. I get it. One day you will either walk 20 feet in front of me or 20 feet behind me but never with me. You will want to go to the mall with friends, hang out with 'just friends' and God forbid I want to tag along. I know this day is coming. I promise not to take offense. It's only natural. You grow up and learn to be by yourself, without me. On the upside, one day you will return to me... as a friend and a daughter. The knowledge of this will keep me sane.

But I am getting ahead of myself. You are only 1. Right now, you want me to hold you. You look pathetically at me with your hands outstretched. You've learned this gets me every time. I pick you up and cuddle. This morning, you didn't want to be put down. You snuggled your head into my chest and hung on tight. Now, when you are walking you instinctively stick your hand up in the air waiting for my hand to grab yours. One day you will not grab for my hand. One day you will not want to cuddle with me.

I am happy for today. I like to relish the time in the morning right when you awake. You want to snuggle just a minute more before it's time to dress and face the world. We tend to linger in the mornings. I watch you sleep, I feed you breakfast, we watch Blues Clues, we pick out an outfit and get dressed. Sometimes we even walk together to the car (very slowly since someone takes small steps). I'm lucky I don't have to rush into work and can spend extra time with you. Too many mornings will be rushed. Too many breakfasts will be eaten in the car. Too many snuggles will be cut short. This morning I took the time to move at your pace. I wish every morning could be this way. I suppose we have the hectic mornings to remind us to savor the ones we can. Oh how I savor our mornings Nora.

One day, too soon, I will be yelling up the stairs for you to hurry up because we're late. You will sulk as I drive you to school, not wanting to be seen with me, then shy away when I go to kiss you goodbye. I will smile to myself, remembering how our mornings used to be.

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