Wednesday, December 31, 2008
So there are turning points in every one's life. And I think this NYE might be a big one for me. I am no longer the person I was 2000-2008. I was young, in college having fun with nothing to really worry about. Now I have a baby growing inside of me. No drinking. No hard core partying, just a nice party chatting and laughing with friends. I have to be a different person. I am now a mommy. I am someones mom!!!! I'm going to miss those NYE and one day my daughter might hear bits and pieces of some stories.
Don't get me wrong, I would not exchange my life for anything. I am looking forward to having a baby in 2009 and being a mommy. However, part of me has to morn the past. I will never have those years back. Sad.
Being a parent is something new and begins a new chapter in my life. Weird. I'm growing up more. I guess its true: you never stop growing and learning. My little girl will one day be a woman and hopefully I will be blessed to see her grow and go through different chapters of her own life. I think this entry was all over the place, but right now I am all all over the place. NYE is always exciting and fun but its also scary as we enter the unknown. This year is really uncertain since I have never been a parent before and I have no idea what to do with an infant. Hopefully 2009 will bring more confidence for the future!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Speaking of nesting, Nels and I have started to demo the upstairs bathroom. We are completely gutting everything and starting over. It is a small bathroom and we are doing all the work so we hope to be done in a week or so. We have to use the bathroom down the basement. I am bothered by the huge mess and I want to clean and dust and have everything in it's place but that can't happen during construction. I am lucky that Nels knows what he is doing, otherwise this remodel would be taking a lot longer and be a lot more expensive. I hopefully can get back to my nesting soon.
Besides all of my complaining, my winter break is going well. Christmas was very exciting with my family. We are so loud and rambunctious there is hardly time to rest. Our pets are conked out today because they barely slept for 3 days with everything going on!
I think I am going to start to register for baby things soon. Many people have asked if we have things done / ready. Ummm, no. Nothing is done. Our excuse is that we have to remodel the bathroom first. But the reality is we don't have time to get things very organized. We have picked out a crib, it will come from IKEA because I refuse to spend an arm and a leg on a crib. We love IKEA in this family!!!
I am re-reading this and realizing that: 1. I am whiny. 2. I am boring. I won't blame you if you never come back to read my blog again. Maybe I will be more creative later on and have something interesting to say!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
- 7th graders are tiring!
- Finishing my first John Hopkins post-graduate class
- Had a severe case of bronchitis during Thanksgiving break
- Magnet applicants for next year's 6th grade class
- First time our 7th graders took an online technology assessment for the state of Maryland= 10th circle of hell
- Getting fatter by the hour is also very tiring
- Needing to eat every 2 hours
- Needing to pee every 2 hours
See I told you no real excuse. I have had 2 OB appointments since Halloween. One was the BIG ultrasound on November 4th where we found out we are going to have a girl! Well, you could have pushed me over with a feather. I was CONVINCED it was a boy. I really thought I was carrying a boy. I had to ask the technician about 3 times if she was sure. After the shock wore off & my mom gave me the little pink & white dress, I came home from the hospital in... I was hooked. OUR daughter is growing inside me. We are going to have a little girl and I couldn't be more excited. I am going to fight the pink battle though. It can be hard. Those little pink clothes are just divine!! But our daughter will not be forced all things pink. Her room will be a purply/gray with Baby Snoopy (in memory of my beagle!). I love the blue/green/purple/yellow combination of the crib set.
Even more awesome then learning about her sex, Nels and I got to see how perfect she is! During the ultrasound we saw the four chambers to her heart and see that her heart was working exactly as it should be. We actually saw the blue/red flowing through her little heart and the valves opening/closing. We saw her absolutely perfect spine & stomach & kidneys & hands & feet! Her head and her lungs & practically everything. Amazing does not describe what it was like to see all of that! And we found found out that our baby girl has no "markers," meaning NO concerns or red flags for potential problems. SHE REALLY IS PERFECT!!!
I am worried about my OB appointment right after Christmas where I will be tested for gestational diabetes. I am nervous since everything is going along so well. I really can't complain about much. I still run around, not quite as fast. I was really sick around Thanksgiving with bronchitis but as for the baby & being pregnant, I am not too worse for the wear. I am becoming increasingly concerned that my belly button will pop out. I am working on accepting the fact that it probably will and I will have to deal with it.
Christmas is less than a week and it's exciting but Christmas also marks the beginning of the 3rd trimester!!! Hooray! Only another 3 months until we meet our little girl!!!
I will update before 6 weeks this time... I promise.
Friday, October 31, 2008
I am nervous about all the poop and spit-up and gross things that babies can do. I have a very sensitive gag reflex to smells. People tell me it will be different with my own child... I sure hope so otherwise I will have to move back in with my mom. She can handle any smell!!!
In a year will our child have a costume for Halloween? Will I have to make a costume in a few years for them to wear? One of my favorite costumes my mom made was a unicorn in first grade. I had a rainbow mane and a sparkly horn! I even won a prize. She made my older sister a Crest toothpaste costume. Only my older sister would have wanted to be tube of toothpaste as a child. I can't even think about our child being in college going out to parties. I just want them to develop ok inside me... I can't imagine them as an adult! Now that is a SCARY thought.
Happy Halloween!!! Maybe this time next year we will have some cute baby Halloween pictures to post. And in 22 years.... God only knows!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
But I want to. I can't stop eating. I am always hungary. I ate two & a half peices of halloween cake at school (it wasn't three Lauren!!!!). I eat more than one taco or hotdog at dinner now. And the way I grew up... you NEVER eat more than one taco.... it's just an unspoken rule. Nels is very supportative and always gives me more food or juice or water with a lemon when I ask. He never makes me feel fat. But I am.
Although, I am pregnant and the little person inside me wants to EAT!!! I found out that Nels' first word was actually "eat" not mommy or daddy or another normal first baby word. I am definitely carrying his baby. I have also started to have stinky sneezes. If you had no idea that your sneezes could smell, count your blessings. Since I have known Nels he has always had stinky sneezes. He implants a baby in me and I start getting stinky sneezes too!!! It is funny how I see this baby changing my habits to reflect those of Nels. There is no question, it's his child in there!!!!
I know my baby is eating well but I am so crazed at work, sometimes I think the baby can't sleep... screaming kids at lunch, me running around our building, climbing on desks and chairs and under tables to fix the technology. I broke up a fight the other day (don't worry it was a 6th grade fight... both kids together might have weighed a buck ten). This baby is getting a wild ride though. There is no routine, each day is different then the next. At least our lives are not boring & predictable. Some days I wish it could be though....
So to wrap up this rambling blog, I worry but I'm also have fun along the way. I like sharing my body with someone else, especially when they remind me of my husband even if it means I am turning into a cow. I can't wait to feel the baby move and kick! We will really find out then if they are more active and hyper like me or more laid back and calm like my husband!!!
Now it is time for a trip to Taco Bell....
Friday, October 10, 2008
I'm thinking more about this since we get to go for an ultrasound on Election Day and we will be given the option to know the sex of the baby! EXCITING! I thought my mind was made up... we need to know the sex, like yesterday! I have to be prepared and ready. The real reason? I am intrincically nosy. I just have to know or it will drive me crazy. But lately I have been second guessing my presumptive choice just to know right away. I certainly won't love the baby any more or less. Maybe I should be patient? You might be wondering about my husband's opinion on this matter. If you know my husband, he generally does not have strong opinions and he can do 'whatever' in most cases... complete opposite of myself.
So the answer to the question of boy or girl? I am truly undecided. I love love love girl clothes, little girls are the sweetest and most adorable. I am, afterall, one of four girls. Girls are epic in my family. We are just cuter. Boys are foriegn to me. I have very little experience with boy children but it poses a great adventure for me and my all girl family. I always wanted a brother. I can't tell you how disappointed when I was told I had another sister (twice). When my youngest sister was born, I think I groaned in annoyance. However, today I would not trade my family for anything. So I know whatever sex the baby is, it's exactly what it's meant to be. I am more anxious at discovering the personality of the baby. I pray it is more like my husband, laid back and less like my hyper self
I told my husband that we should go to the OB appointment and then vote for president based on the sex of the baby. Boy = Obama, girl = McCain. He did not find it very amusing. I thought it was a great idea!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I have to calm myself down sometimes as I get more anxious: so my nest egg is not quite as large as it once was and retirement is many years away. We are still ok and our finacial planning has cushioned this economic blow. I think about what a baby really needs. What if we don't buy the $400 stroller or the solid cherry crib? Our child will not know the difference between new and used clothes... so why should I care? One lesson we should all take away from this economic downturn is an awareness of excess. Do you really need name brand clothes? Or furniture? So what if I shop at consignment stores?! The baby will not care.
What our baby will be aware of is who cares for them. Enter the issue of child care. I love my job... in theory. But I already love this baby more. So what if my child wears the same 10 outfits in rotation? But my child will know if I am not around. I can't bear to think about the time that our child needs us and we are not there. I want to comfort my child. I want to feed them, I want to be there the first time they sit up and crawl and walk. I don't want someone else raising them. Here comes my point in a very round about way... even in these hard economic times, I already know I will be home raising our baby. Why? because my husband can provide for our entire family. No, we are not independently wealthy. We do not live above our means. We live in a very modest house and work hard for the benefits we enjoy. We do not spend money that we don't have. Our credit cards are paid off each month. We limit our buying to what we need. If we want something, we save up for it until we can buy it. We have been living like this for many years... maybe because my accountant mother installed an innate sense of finance.
Although being pregnant in these economic times is difficult. It is not impossible. Our economic choices and family planning has given us one very rare and precious gift that even Wall Street cannot strip from us: the ability to have one of us stay home and raise our child. So although our financial future is uncertain, I am certain of who will care for our baby and I would give up my retirement and investments any day for that privilege.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Ok, OK! I can’t blame it completely on him. I am a strong believer in fate. I know God gives us the blessings we have and it’s all a part of a larger plan. After we found out about the baby, we backtracked to the “incident” and discovered something truly incredible. The day I conceived our baby is the same day that my baby, Hillary died. I conceived a new life just as one, very important life was taken from my family. To me, our baby is a gift, a blessing that is no less than a miracle. I am always awe-struck at the ways in which God unfolds his plan. So this blog is dedicated to the memory of my Hillary, who for 15 years gave me unconditional love and inspiration in preparation for a baby of my own.